Monday, May 31, 2010
Update for the last couple days
Well, Sunday was a magical day for Grandma… especially as compared to Jim’s visit Saturday. Grandma was not good on Saturday – many tears…some wailing..and downright mean when Barb was there later in the day. I will let them share about their visits. I am not surprised they have not added to the blog because it is probably a painful experience to relive.

So Pat and I went to visit her on Sunday after Mass with much trepidation…but instead encountered one of her best days ever. Go figure.

Here are some anecdotes:

• Teary a little when we sat and watched TV and when we went to leave.
• Pat took her to Bingo. She played by herself – (One card is better than two.) She listened to the caller, picked the chips out of a bowl and correctly put them on the numbers. She won twice and correctly called back the numbers of her winning row. (She did at one point after an hour…take a couple chips off of numbers for no reason…so it wasn’t perfect…but think back to when she wasn’t even talking at all.)
• More than once yesterday in response to my teasing – making humor about myself – she smiled and rolled her eyes.. She did that at lunch once and the lady eating lunch with us laughed at her…and she then smiled even more.
• Fed herself lunch – including picking up coffee cup and drink glasses by herself. I think she likes the dignity of feeding herself. While again, not perfect, whenever possible it is best. I think she did lose a couple pounds though…so we need to continue push the high-density foods..healthy shakes. etc.
• She will motor herself around if the foot pads are off of her wheelchair so good to take them off when you are not taking her for a long walk. Take them off at meal-times so she can scoot under the table making it easier to feed herself.
• We called John and she talked to him and wished him Happy Birthday. We called Janice but she was in the shower and when she called back we were in the noisy lunchroom… then there was Bingo and we didn’t end up being able to reconnect. We are so sorry Janice!

She did cry when we said we were leaving. Not just teary but cried…but in the midst of crying she communicated quite clearly why she was crying. Some of her words..and these are pretty much verbatim:

1. Why can’t you take me home with you?
2. I feel like you just dumped me here.
3. I feel like such a baby.
4. I don’t like crying.
5. I don’t know how to do anything here. I don’t know how to turn on the TV or use the phone.

So while the last 10 minutes were in tears…both Pat and myself were impressed with how she expressed herself during the tears. It was not with meanness…it was with pretty good emotional clarity. We would respond with answers to her questions., i.e. telling her that we did not dump her there – and she in turn answered that “I know.. I just feel that way.”

We notified the staff we were leaving and they arranged for someone to take her to Vespers and then to have someone with her at dinner. I called a little later and they said she did well – no more tears and was eating dinner at the moment and still doing well.

We just wish everyday could be like this. (We were there from 10:30 to after 4 so it was a good amount of time. We did not plan to be there that long but I think we both were so enjoying the fact that she was in a good state that we just kept staying a little longer.)
We do know that realistically she will continue to have good days and bad days. We just wish that for out of town visitors that you would always be here on a good day!

Note: The nurse did call to say that she slid out of bed early Sunday morning while she was trying to get up to go to the bathroom. They do have alarms on her bed and wheelchair but they just weren't able to get there soon enough. She said that they are watching her closely and she didn't seem to have any issues but she may have some bruising.

That's all for now...Pat is heading in and Kirsten and Barb are bringing Chinese food at 2 to have a special lunch. God Bless All!