Barb: It's Freaking Adorable

Hats off to Lyn and Pat and Kirsten, whose steady multiple-times-daily presence with Mom this week has made a clear difference in her behavior, as I perceive it.

Wow. I spent an hour with Mom last night during which she conversed The Entire Time. Sure, she was pissed as hell. Sure, she verbally abused me and even hit me (not hard enough to hurt). But our hour of therapy (I call it this since I validated everything she had to say and took everything she had to give) was more verbal than I could believe.

She said things like, "Where are your girls?" followed by "I hope your girls never do this to you because you'll be sorry you didn't take care of me." "Why wouldn't you take care of your mother? I'd never leave you in a place like this. You're a good-for-nothing so and so who just smiles like Lyn and doesn't get me out of here."

She begged me to help her sneak out. Phrases we are using in response: "This is a good safe place. I'm so glad you're near me now. Right now you need doctors and nurses to help care for you. This is your good safe bed."

We talked about how she misses every member of her original family. She wailed, "I want my Mama!" for awhile. When I asked where she wants her mother to take her, she said, "It doesn't matter where she takes me. I just want to be with her."

But she agrees the food is good, the bed is comfortable, and she likes Morgan (aide) and a woman who visited her.

Here is their visit, spurred by Mom's wailing. (Adrianna? Some A-name) walks her wheelchair in and says, "I know why you're sad. You know they can't be trusted to be faithful. You're sad because your man is with another woman. But let me tell you, no man is worth all this fussing. No man is worth it."

Mom: "Right. No man is worth all this." And she quiets down and listens to the visitor talk about her (made up) WWII exploits for the next fifteen minutes, interjecting occasionally with things like, "But I want my Mama!"

Visitor: "Sure. Your mother would understand. Her husband cheated on her too."

It was surreal and freaking adorable.


The staff rocks. They cuddle her, read to her, joke with her, and put up with her shit. They also boss us around, but I'm glad. The key word here is involvement. Involvement and interaction. That's what we're paying the extra money for.

Basically, I think she is getting lots of interaction from staff and the Mead Ericksons, and so she's interacting more.

Thank you, Pat, Lyn, and Kirsten.

Love,

Barb