Umm . . . this is weird.

Today Ryan, the girls, and I joined Pat, Kirsten, and Huy for a Chinese take out meal with Mom. She fed herself well and told us that was a good idea.

She joked with the girls, telling them she would open their belly buttons with a key.
She told the girls she would take out their tonsils for them, then when Ryan asked her if she had her tonsils out, she said, "Yeah."
Ryan: "They don't really take tonsils out much anymore."
Mom: "They must have decided the benefits didn't outweigh the difficulties."

Uh . . . reasoned inferences. Large vocabulary. Awareness of audience.

Huh? Ryan and I were both shocked.

I've also noticed her taking on some of dad's mannerisms. When she's mad at me (perfectly pleasant today, though) she'll say, "Now listen. . ." just like Dad would have. And today she was teasing the girls and paying them extra attention like Dad would have. Very cute.

May 31 Rain has been non-stop today, but no tears are falling...

WRITTEN BY PAT:

I had both a son to mother talk and a conversation with mom this morning. The talk was about her desire to live with one of us. I used Lyn and I as an example and said the same would be true for all her children. I pointed out that if we moved her to our house that Lyn and I would still need to go to work, run errands and visit our friends and that she would end up many days spending most of her hours 'alone' with 1 or 2 caregivers. I told her I was gone from the house about 10 hours a day when I was working. At Riverview, you have a dozens of different caregivers checking on you throughout the day and you have 60 residents you can watch, listen to and talk to every day. I think this resonated with her as she does have a lot of contact with staff and other residents. I think yesterday Bingo experience was a positive first step in helping mom make social connections. This morning a cheerful stranger, Beth (?) my memories going, walked in and said good morning and sang "Jesus love me this I know ...." on tune and in good spirits.

She started our conversation by asking me "How is this being paid for?" I told her that she was paying for it from the trust Dad had set up for her. I told her she had a pension (?) social security, interest and oil revenue income. I told her not to worry about the costs. Then I told her that if she needed anything just ask and we would get if for her and Bill, as a Trustee would pay for it. I said if you think of anything that you want or need just ask. So, she said "Well I do need a watch that I can read". Then she said " I need a string for my glasses." Then " a new comforter." The she asked for a couch like she saw in a room down the hall. Huy and Kirsten have a shorter couch that may work nicely. I think she liked the idea that she has money to spend. Later a commercial came on for a 'hover chair' competition for the 'scooter' chair (?) and she said maybe she should have one of those. However, as Barb pointed, since she is pulling herself around some in her wheel chair that may be the best thing for her at this point.

Barb, Ryan, the girls and Kirsten brought in chinese food for lunch and we ate family style in a conference room. Mom fed herself and ate a little of everything.

This Wednesday at 3:00 will be Mass or a Eucharistic service downstairs, then at 4:00 we will go back upstairs for Wednesday wine and then Copper River Salmon for dinner at 5:00. I told the dietitian that mom would be having several guests.

She told me she could still read, but she can't turn pages, so tomorrow we will try out a computer they have available in the special care unit.

Now that she may be accepting this place as her home, I think we need ask her how to decorate so she will feel it is her space. The couch may be a great idea so that we have seating for at least four visitors.

Well, Happy Memorial Day... I thought alot about Dad today... God Bless All

Involvement

I have managed to visit grandma every day since she arrived. I decided to visit lots during the first few weeks to help her feel more at home. During the week of June 9th-11th I have to be out of town for school and I already miss grandma! I was having some near perfect days with grandma when on Saturday morning she finally gave me the talking to that everyone else has experienced. Then on Sunday morning we had another great day together! I am never sure what to expect but every time she kisses me goodbye my heart melts.

On Sunday she talked about how she feels that she did not appreciate everything and everyone until it was too late. She also said that she feels like she is missing out on too much. I don't know how we can include her more. If you send any letters or title your blog posts as "read to grandma" I will be sure to sit down and share them with her. I could also write down her thoughts and personal responses and send them back to you. Perhaps if grandma feels that she is truly communicating she will feel more connected.

When I have helped grandma get ready in the mornings I kept thinking that something was missing. Her neck seemed extremely bare without her cross necklace. I have not looked through her things yet but does anyone know if she has a necklace and her lanyard for her glasses? She has been wearing her glasses but constantly takes them on and off. I don't know if things around her neck would be hazardous but I could at least put them on when she has family visitors and then take them off for the nights.

Another tip - if she has been crying you might offer her a washcloth with warm water to wash her face. She says it feels very comforting.

I love you all! Everyone is welcome to stay at any of the Erickson/Simmons hotels if you come to the area. My place is exactly 17 minutes away from her house.

We should plan something special during the lake this year to coordinate our visits with grandma. It is only a little over a month away until the lake!

Monday, May 31, 2010
Update for the last couple days
Well, Sunday was a magical day for Grandma… especially as compared to Jim’s visit Saturday. Grandma was not good on Saturday – many tears…some wailing..and downright mean when Barb was there later in the day. I will let them share about their visits. I am not surprised they have not added to the blog because it is probably a painful experience to relive.

So Pat and I went to visit her on Sunday after Mass with much trepidation…but instead encountered one of her best days ever. Go figure.

Here are some anecdotes:

• Teary a little when we sat and watched TV and when we went to leave.
• Pat took her to Bingo. She played by herself – (One card is better than two.) She listened to the caller, picked the chips out of a bowl and correctly put them on the numbers. She won twice and correctly called back the numbers of her winning row. (She did at one point after an hour…take a couple chips off of numbers for no reason…so it wasn’t perfect…but think back to when she wasn’t even talking at all.)
• More than once yesterday in response to my teasing – making humor about myself – she smiled and rolled her eyes.. She did that at lunch once and the lady eating lunch with us laughed at her…and she then smiled even more.
• Fed herself lunch – including picking up coffee cup and drink glasses by herself. I think she likes the dignity of feeding herself. While again, not perfect, whenever possible it is best. I think she did lose a couple pounds though…so we need to continue push the high-density foods..healthy shakes. etc.
• She will motor herself around if the foot pads are off of her wheelchair so good to take them off when you are not taking her for a long walk. Take them off at meal-times so she can scoot under the table making it easier to feed herself.
• We called John and she talked to him and wished him Happy Birthday. We called Janice but she was in the shower and when she called back we were in the noisy lunchroom… then there was Bingo and we didn’t end up being able to reconnect. We are so sorry Janice!

She did cry when we said we were leaving. Not just teary but cried…but in the midst of crying she communicated quite clearly why she was crying. Some of her words..and these are pretty much verbatim:

1. Why can’t you take me home with you?
2. I feel like you just dumped me here.
3. I feel like such a baby.
4. I don’t like crying.
5. I don’t know how to do anything here. I don’t know how to turn on the TV or use the phone.

So while the last 10 minutes were in tears…both Pat and myself were impressed with how she expressed herself during the tears. It was not with meanness…it was with pretty good emotional clarity. We would respond with answers to her questions., i.e. telling her that we did not dump her there – and she in turn answered that “I know.. I just feel that way.”

We notified the staff we were leaving and they arranged for someone to take her to Vespers and then to have someone with her at dinner. I called a little later and they said she did well – no more tears and was eating dinner at the moment and still doing well.

We just wish everyday could be like this. (We were there from 10:30 to after 4 so it was a good amount of time. We did not plan to be there that long but I think we both were so enjoying the fact that she was in a good state that we just kept staying a little longer.)
We do know that realistically she will continue to have good days and bad days. We just wish that for out of town visitors that you would always be here on a good day!

Note: The nurse did call to say that she slid out of bed early Sunday morning while she was trying to get up to go to the bathroom. They do have alarms on her bed and wheelchair but they just weren't able to get there soon enough. She said that they are watching her closely and she didn't seem to have any issues but she may have some bruising.

That's all for now...Pat is heading in and Kirsten and Barb are bringing Chinese food at 2 to have a special lunch. God Bless All!

May 28th - Mom Update

I know I just sent out a post re: the Care Conference.... but I just wanted to also share that I stayed with Mom for a few hours after the conference and things were really pretty good. She was just a little teary at times and did greet me with, "Well, I had about given up on you!" But she was pretty verbal and actually laughed and winked at lunch - laughed at part of an I Love Lucy Episode. We ended up talking on the phone to Karen, Jolene, Pat and Bill and with most of them she actually answered some of their questions.

She also for the first time with me, moved herself in the wheelchair by walking with her feet. She moved herself out of her room and down the hallway about 30 feet to feed one of the dogs. I think it is great exercise and may help her not feel so 'stuck' in her room. I think we should encourage her to do this...

Care Conference Summary - Fri., May 28th

Care Conference Review
In attendance: Lyn, Matt(Dietary Consultant), Dan (Director of Nursing), Pam(Recreational Therapy), Patti(Sociologist), Jon (Day Charge Nurse). Pat was sick so stayed home but participated through a speaker phone.

Overall – I was pleased in that their overall philosophy was that they (Riverview Staff) were there to work in concert with family to try and better the quality of Mom’s life.

Mom’s crying and wailing has been disruptive to other residents and to staff. They have tried numerous interventions – i.e., attention, comfort, engagement, firmness… and on Thursday morning they felt they needed to try a medication change ‘to try and reset her scales,’ as the other interventions were not working. . (I did not realize it but at meals she was doing some wailing so the whole dining room experience was a bit altered. (understatement, I believe.) Dan, the Director of Nursing did finally go into her room yesterday morning and eyeball to eyeball told her that her crying was upsetting the other residents and the staff so he was going to have to close her door until she could get under control. She did stop crying at that point, but was still very anxious/agitated. So in working with Dr. Dentler they removed the Xanax and started Haldol. The script is for 1 milligram 2 times a day…but they started with .5 milligrams once a day in the morning. It seems to be working for now.

Mental Health Evaluation – They are going ahead with a mental health evaluation from Spokane Mental Health. We did receive the one from the Tri-Cities but there were no recommendations.
They also said at some point in the meeting that they didn’t expect to figure things out today or tomorrow, but they would figure it out. … They did say that at some point we (family & staff) might decide that another placement in a different part of Riverview or a difference facility might be in her best interest. Pat and I acknowledged that possibility, but communicated that right now we feel that we have seen progress and want to pursue interventions other than moving her.

They asked Pat and myself to give them more of a history and so between the two of us we gave them a synopsis of their life and particular the events of the last 7-8 years. It becomes pretty evident to everyone that Mom has experienced a number of losses during the past 8 years.. Loss of farm, loss of ability to cook, loss of physical mobility (when she broke her hip), loss of core of friends, loss of Jim, Loss of 2nd home- Charbonneau, and change of facilities – Callaway to Riverview. We told the story of Dad’s relatively wonderful passing – showed them a pic of Mom and Dad in bed that last day.
Dietary Issues. They have noted that Mom weighs 117 and would like her to maintain or gain a few pounds. They have noted that she on average eats 50% of meals so they have encouraged and added high density foods, i.e., the Boost Shakes, other shakes, encouraging family to ask for any snacks at any time. During this meeting they decided that stocking a snack basket in her room would be good. (It was in her room within the hour. It will be automatically restocked on Monday of each week but we should feel free to ask for more if we need it – or for something that is not in the basket.

Pam – Recreational Therapy. She said in trying to help with the crying they have tried adding music to the room, and have engaged her in their exercise group. They asked about other things Mom might be interested in… We said she used to do Word Searches. They will enlarge some simple word searches and RT staff will sit down and do them with her. (We should do the same when we are there.) Any other ideas???

Future Care Conference Meetings. They usually have Care Conferences when there is an issue – not necessarily on a regular basis. We most likely will have another in a month or so or sooner if there are continuing issues. We are expected to have a family meeting with Dr. Dentler who is at Riverview on Wednesdays. I will call his office and arrange that – hopefully making it for time far enough in the future that Barb, and maybe Davenport or Coulee Ericksons could also attend and meet Dr. Dentler.

Barb: It's Freaking Adorable

Hats off to Lyn and Pat and Kirsten, whose steady multiple-times-daily presence with Mom this week has made a clear difference in her behavior, as I perceive it.

Wow. I spent an hour with Mom last night during which she conversed The Entire Time. Sure, she was pissed as hell. Sure, she verbally abused me and even hit me (not hard enough to hurt). But our hour of therapy (I call it this since I validated everything she had to say and took everything she had to give) was more verbal than I could believe.

She said things like, "Where are your girls?" followed by "I hope your girls never do this to you because you'll be sorry you didn't take care of me." "Why wouldn't you take care of your mother? I'd never leave you in a place like this. You're a good-for-nothing so and so who just smiles like Lyn and doesn't get me out of here."

She begged me to help her sneak out. Phrases we are using in response: "This is a good safe place. I'm so glad you're near me now. Right now you need doctors and nurses to help care for you. This is your good safe bed."

We talked about how she misses every member of her original family. She wailed, "I want my Mama!" for awhile. When I asked where she wants her mother to take her, she said, "It doesn't matter where she takes me. I just want to be with her."

But she agrees the food is good, the bed is comfortable, and she likes Morgan (aide) and a woman who visited her.

Here is their visit, spurred by Mom's wailing. (Adrianna? Some A-name) walks her wheelchair in and says, "I know why you're sad. You know they can't be trusted to be faithful. You're sad because your man is with another woman. But let me tell you, no man is worth all this fussing. No man is worth it."

Mom: "Right. No man is worth all this." And she quiets down and listens to the visitor talk about her (made up) WWII exploits for the next fifteen minutes, interjecting occasionally with things like, "But I want my Mama!"

Visitor: "Sure. Your mother would understand. Her husband cheated on her too."

It was surreal and freaking adorable.


The staff rocks. They cuddle her, read to her, joke with her, and put up with her shit. They also boss us around, but I'm glad. The key word here is involvement. Involvement and interaction. That's what we're paying the extra money for.

Basically, I think she is getting lots of interaction from staff and the Mead Ericksons, and so she's interacting more.

Thank you, Pat, Lyn, and Kirsten.

Love,

Barb

I miss my Grandma.

These are my reminscings and feelings about grandma.

As some of you may know I am currently getting settled into Susie's place. In the few weeks that I have been here unpacking and applying for jobs I visited grandma three times. Having been at school til early May I haven't had many opportunities to visit in the past few years (I'm sure this is the case with many grandchildren) after I had visited her I see how much grandma really needs visits, constantly. She wants assurance that her family is still present to show her love and affection.

I see mostly sadness and longing in grandma. In my opinion, (And I'm sure many of you would agree) this longing is for her old life which is the life she came to expect on a daily basis where she was on the farm with her loved ones and using her hands in the kitchen. I think this was not a fast change from happy to sad but a slow change that came into being on those days when she was preparing to leave the place that she most loved. In my opinion grandma hasn't been the same person since that day that the whole family gathered in the back yard by the shop to divy out her and grandpa's belongings. I remember that day whenever I use the old kitchen knife or dishes that were passed on to me.

In the few visits to see her in the last month the main messages coming from grandma were, "I want to go home," "please take care of me," "and why do they leave me here." What do you do when your grandma pleads these very requests to you?...I kissed her, stroked her hair and told her I loved her.

I also can't help thinking when I hear her requests that she will be home, all in good time.

I also find it difficult, when I am visiting her to talk about anything that isn't reminiscent of the past. This probably isn't good for her to think about all of the time because it creates a state of sadness. But it seems to pop up whenever I visit her. As many of you probably know, it is heartbreaking to witness her continually relive the realization that grandpa has passed. There must be better ideas for conversation. Any ideas?

On a happy note, I did take Barb's advice and read her one of her children's books on my first visit to Calloway Gardens. It soothed her for a while. On my third visit I left her eating snacks for a few tunes and played the piano. I turned around to see her sobbing but got an applause and some nice inspirational comments from one of the residents (though I did not really understand the comments ;) ).

Love to you all. Terry

Thu., May 27 - Tears, Anger, Humor and Haldol

Not a great morning as Mom was in a crying mode. But by the time I got there at 10:30 she was in the hallway by the nurse. They had brought her out to the nurses station to keep her engaged. Just as I got there they had her feeding one of the three in house dogs... Dr. Dentler had them stop the Xanax and she had an injection of Haldol to see if that would stop the crying. It seemed to have worked. While she was not cheery, she was not crying unconsolably.

I was able to stay thru while she was on the verge of tears a number of times, she did not move into crying/wailing. She started crying once and I told her I couldn't understand what she was saying... she stopped and then told me in a rather forceful voice, "Well, maybe you should TRY harder!" So I responded that I would if she would also try not to cry. She just looked at me but she did not go back to crying. :)

She was really more verbal - I had thought that the Haldol might be very sedating but she seemed to be more communicative. They serve wine at dinner on Thursdays and she indicated she didn't want any by shaking her head. She responded the same when asked if she wanted some apple bubbly... but I turned to them to say that maybe they should go ahead and try the apple bubbly... but she tapped me on the arm three times hard, and then said to me, "I do NOT want any of that.

Barb came at dinner and before she came Mom told me "I want to get out of this place." "Why do you keep leaving me here?" and "Why don't you take me home?" While I know these don't indicate happy thoughts - I'm pretty impressed that she is communicating!

When I kissed her goodby while she was sitting next to Barb, I told her I loved her. She responded: (and this is verbatim) "I would like to say I love you too, but deep down in my heart I can't say that." (At this point Barb covered her mouth and was laughing uncontrollably. I whispered to Barb that I forgave her Mom for saying what she did, but I would NEVER forgive Barb for laughing!!! Oh - even in the midst of angst we find a little humor...

Barb will fill us in on the evening events.... and I Pat and I will update everyone on the Care Conference tomorrow. God Bless All

When Mom is inconsolable

My morning reflections as I get ready to head to Mom's this morning.... I think most of you have been with her when she is crying/wailing. It can be pretty stressful. When she is so inconsolable you just don't know quite what to do... to leave, to comfort her, to tell her to stop, to try to divert her attention, to do nothing. We are going to talk about it at the care conference tomorrow...my guess is that the answer to what to do might be 'all of the above. '

Something that might help sustain all of us for a bit when we are in this situation is to think about the number of times that Mom (or our Moms) consoled us when we were inconsolable. In Mom's case when you think that it started in 1947 and there is a multiplication factor of 10 ..... it may be awhile before we can call it even, if you know what I mean.

I just had to practice uploading pictures!

Possible Weekend Meal

I would be up for planning a family meal at Riverview this weekend. Let me know if anyone is interested. We could order pizza or take out and eat in the private conference rooms. They are meant to be used for meals and we just need to make reservations. I think one even has a TV if we wanted to do a movie during the rainy afternoon.

Mental Health Eval from Kennewick

Just FYI, Mary and Bill forwarded the contact information for Patricia Stuckey who completed a mental Health Evaluation on Mom before she left the Tri-Cities. I have left a message for her and will hopefully be able to connect to get information for the first Care Conference this Friday.

Care Conference Scheduled for Friday, May 28th at 10 am

We have scheduled a Care Conference for Friday at 10 am. Anyone is welcome to attend...just let Lyn know if you plan to be there.

Note From Karen

Thanks for the updates Thelma. We hope to be in soon to visit Mom. Love to all Karen

I find it easier to do anecdotes as we try to keep everyone updated on Mom. We all are learning new things daily regarding this new facility so I will just try to share what I think is important…

Mom’s days are up and down. Quick synopsis of last few days:

• Friday: Generally good with travel to Spokane and transition to new place. When she had bowel movement in evening she fell apart and cried for quite awhile. Blood Sugar was 400+
• Saturday. Saturday morning was o.k., but afternoon and evening she was wailing/crying. (Note: Blood sugar was still high and she did have a chocolate milkshake. Callaway evidently could not transfer the xanax so she had a 24 period without this med. I don’t know if this would predicate some of the crying – or if xanax is the kind of medicine that stays in your system…
• Sunday: Great day, blood sugar was 160 – relatively normal. She was conversational, had humor,
• Monday – Good day, blood sugar 240 ish, A little quiet but no tears/crying.
• Tuesday – OK afternoon but a few tears before dinner. She then chose to finish dinner in room. Then 2.5 straight hours of wailing.

Meals – Mom can feed herself with help. When we are not there she sits at a table where an aide assists all of them with eating. When we are there we sit at the table by the slider to the garden. We are all welcome to eat there but they would prefer a days notice. There is a charge of 5-8 dollars per meal for guests. They seem to bring us a pop or snack if we ask for it.

I am going to ask the social worker about a care conference. Pat and I (and I am sure anybody who is here during a crying jag) would like to just talk to them about what they would recommend we do during one of these episodes. We tend to try to give comfort, try to understand if she seemingly is trying to communicate…but often we just sit and ignore some of it because she can be so inconsolable. I can’t believe how her voice holds up after wailing for hours.

Weight: Her initial weight was recorded as 87 but tonight it was 117. Obviously the chair scale was not correct on one of those times and the nurses aide thought she was more a 117 than an 87. They are bathed in a spa type tub with a lift twice a week and are weighed during this time. They will double check that.

I made an appointment for a shampoo and set at the beauty parlor a week from Thursday at 11 am. The beauty parlor is just down the hall.

Still are impressed by all staff. Patty, a CAN on light duty was reading to Mom when Pat visited yesterday. Tonight they brought her in asking if we would like her to stay with Ann when we left as Ann was crying, etc. As we left she was cradling her and letting her know that she was going to be o.k.

Janice – another CNA shared with us that she climbed into bed with her the other night to help comfort her and she finally stopped crying and went to sleep.

Staff shared that she went to Vespers on Sunday and went to Sittersize this morning and tried to participate with what exercise she could do…

In a conversation yesterday with a CAN who had been gone…we talked about Mom’s tender left shoulder. Within 3 hours we had a laminated sign posted above her bed reminding staff to use a belt because of the sore shoulder.

A speech therapist visited to assess Mom’s swallowing ability. The physical therapist did an initial review and will consult with the Doctor about maintenance PT. The OT measured Mom for a wheelchair yesterday and informed me that they provide the wheelchairs as part of the program…unless it is a special needs chair that Medicare or Family would provide.

We would still like to make her room more ‘homey.’ We have covered the bulletin board and brought a few things from home. Bill: When it’s convenient – if you could bring up one of her chairs, that would be great. Even if she can’t sit in it, guests can sit in it and be more comfortable while visiting. Maybe one of the Cerrillos or Frank could possibly pick it up if they were on the way up to see Mom because we know this is your crazy busy time.

Just some thoughts… I have created a blog but need a couple more days to get it going. I think it might be a better way to keep everyone updated about Mom…. And have a place where all info is located. It would include a link to the calendar and places for people to comment or actually write. Will keep you updated on that. God Bless all.

FYI: In wailing mode, Mom participated in our evening prayers of blessing and she wailed/prayed each of your names at some point.. i.e., Pat would say, God Bless Mike and Ann, and Mom with eyes closed tight and with a loud raspy voice, would repeat: “Mike and Ann.” She repeated all of our names…we just did the 10 kids and their spouses. The grandkids would have made it way too long. So just know that Mom was wail-praying for you tonight. (Maybe it’s the start of a new fad…)

Notes from Jolene and Dick

Dick and Luke spent 3 hours with Mom after helping with the move on Saturday. Dick said Mom cried/wailed pretty much the entire time. There were a few times when she was able to say coherent things. Dick also mentioned that Huy and Kirsten had brought Mom a large chocolate milkshake before he arrived. I noticed Lyn that you mentioned in one of your emails the possible correlation between meltdowns and milkshakes. (I’m thinking that’s a good title for my memoirs.) I’m also distressed that Mom only weighs 87 pounds. I wish there was a magical way for her to enjoy her milkshakes and benefit from the calories without paying a price for it. It will be interesting to see what the medication eval from Patricia Luckey will recommend. I think that obviously Mom has issues with dementia, but I am also willing to bet that high blood sugars probably have an impact on her mental status as well. Please understand that I am not in any way criticizing giving Mom a treat she loves – I just think we (all of us) need to be mindful of the amount and the timing of treats. Having said all that, I don’t know if it would make a huge difference or not… Dick and Luke just said that it’s distressing to see Mom so distressed… I just wish I had a magic want to make her happy or content.

May 23 Update from Lyn

Just got done feeding Mom breakfast. She ate quite well. 1/2 of quiche serving. Full slice of bacon, 3/4 of large serving of crumb cake muffin. 1/2 large mug hot chocolate, 1/2 small glass of orange juice.

When I got here Kirsten was curling her hair. Mom was in good mood and had just asked to go to the bathroom.

This was in contrast to Pat's and mmy last evening's visit where she pretty much cried or wailed for 3 hours. . But again she was talking during most of it. We really had a lot of conversation. She would stop the crying when we offered her water or shake to sip. (diabetic shake).

Cute anecdote: she was wailing " Mary where are you? Mary, where r u. This was shotly after we said part of a rosary with her. So I interrupted her and asked, "Are you asking about Mary your daughter or Mary Mother of God?". She looked over at me and said, Well, both of them!". We all chuckled.

This morning no sadness. She is napping in her chair. Maybe evenings are going to be harder because she is more tired? Lyn

Sat., May 22 - Mom Is In Her New Home...

Just to let you know that I will not be sending out HOURLY or even daily updates as a norm... :) Just some more notes on today, Barbs move, and Mom...

This morning Pat was able to be with Mom in the am before he went to help Barb move. He said she was up and dressed when he got there about 7:30. He was able to stay and have breakfast with her. They have designated seats in the dining room and Mom has the best table in the room - facing a large slider/picture window looking out into the inner courtyard where there is children's play equipment. We also noted this afternoon that they have a swing like the ones we had at home and it is rigged so a person in a wheelchair can 'ride.' I won't take 10 paragraphs to explain..you will just have to see it when you are visiting.

I got there as Pat was just leaving. It was really a pretty good morning although Mom had her crying/wailing moments. But the good news is that even when she was doing some wailing or crying - she was usually also talking. We actually had some conversation... She did ask 'When will this ever end?" I was curling her hair and she was weeping.... and she said she "was sorry." When I asked her what she was sorry for, she said, "I am sorrry I am crying. I don't know why I am crying. I can't help it." I thought that was pretty insightful.

The nurses had some questions about some meds and I talked with them out in the hallway.... I was impressed with their willingness to work through pretty much anything. We talked about the wailing and they said that it really is expected/normal with the transitions that she has undergone in the last three months - being moved from Charbonneau, losing her spouse of 60+ years, being moved again... I was encouraged by their understanding and their positive outlook. The people who work with our elderly are pretty special people...

Wheelchair: I think Pat is going to call Bill - but in case someone else knows about the wheelchair. Callaway faxed Riverview this morning asking them what to do with the wheelchair. We had told them to return it to the medical provider as we thought it was leased/rented. Does anyone know the answer to this? We did take the wheelchair cushion because Bill had said they had purchased that... At this point the physical therapists will do an evaluation on Monday or Tuesday and they can recommend the type/size of chair to get...

Kirsten and Huy stayed with Mom during lunch and I think Dick is there now. Pat and I are planning to go back at 4:30 and stay through dinner. Pat mentioned at Breakfast that Mom lifted and took bites of her toast independently three different times. Kirsten said she ate well at lunch... Maybe she will actually end gaining a little weight. Last week as part of intake the nurse asked me how much I thought Anne weighed, and I said I really didn't know but I would guess about 110. Well, she weighed in at 87 pounds yeserday.... we need to try and get a little bit of meat on those bones.

Barb and ryan's move: Pat and Barb said it went well - they had hired a couple guys to move the heavy stuff and Pat, Dick, Greg and Chad helped with all the other 'stuff.' OF course, with good planning, Chad is also moving today so Ryan and Barb will probably feel like they have run a marathon by this evening. Pat said their new house is pretty special. Hopefully I will be able to see it tomorrow.

God Bless - will write more when I can.....