Conversation this morning with Matt, the Dietary Director

For the most part we have been sitting with Mom at a table that is closest to the patio sliders. Great view, just us or our friend Rosemary. Last night people were assigned to that table as they have had new admits. Pat then sat with Mom at the Assist Table, where she sits if no one is there. Pat noted that because no one talks at that table - Mom seemed to be sad, not as responsive.

This morning I called the dietary guy and found out the following:

1. They will re-assess Mom re: need to be at the assist table. No doubt she needed to be there originally as she did not feed herself at all when she arrived, and she was disruptive with crying/wailing and needed direction/diversion. We think her behavior has changed and is worth re-assessing.
2. If we accompany her to the dining room - it really helps if we call the following number and let them know. They will set up a place for us with her at the guest table. Just leave a message at 482-8152. You can let them know if you are planning to eat a meal with her, if you just want a bowl of soup, or if you are just accompanying her. If you are in Mom's room - just dial the last three numbers.
3. If for some reason you could not call ahead, it is o.k. to sit with her at her assigned table, but it does make it crowded for the other residents, so they do not want this to happen on a regular basis. Sitting with her at her 'resident' table occasionally to help Mom with conversation is fine. (Sometimes families bring three or four people and it just makes it a bit uncomfortable for the other people at the table.)
4. I asked about charges for meals. While it does say in a pamphlet that guests are charged, the reality is that they do not charge. Matt said that sometimes when guests seem to be taking advantage of this, then they have a conversation. I told him we would never want to do that but that I have found it is more comfortable for Ann if we are eating with her rather than just sitting. He totally agreed and suggested that sometime we just give a donation to Riverview... other families do that.
   
5. Dessert: They will try and delay the serving of Mom's dessert.
6. FYI: Breakfast and Lunch are meals where the residents order when they go down to the dining room. For dinner a food service person goes to their room in the afternoon and takes their order. Last night when the food was placed in front of Mom, Pat said that she said, "I didn't order this." If this happens , try to help Mom adjust, but it is still o.k. to ask for a substitute if she really doesn't want a particular meal.
   

NOTE: Before I finished this email, I called the charge nurse, Dan, to let him know I would not be there today. (I have a sore throat, runny nose.) He said that they had already assessed Mom and are going to try to move her to a more sociable table. Woohoo!